Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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