Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
