No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
