your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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