she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think a kid would responsible me up
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
