new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
