So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
