He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize