he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
