Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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