I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
