And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
