Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
