I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize