This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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