just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
