i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He better not be in your backpack
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
