Will you blow on my dice?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize