You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
