I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
