do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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