to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
