I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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