i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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