Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
