To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
