nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I want to fling myself into the sun
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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