scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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