I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
