This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
