I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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