Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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