Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.

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(440): View more from Ohio

eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(

(1-440): View more from Ohio

just blow him with soup in your mouth.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

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(773): View more from Illinois

i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS

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(207): View more from Maine

At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.

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(207): View more from Maine

Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.

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