Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
