Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
