Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
