i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
