haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
