I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize