can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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