we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
