You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
