Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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