New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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