i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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