Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
