I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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