He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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