I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
