Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
