Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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