walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just gargled with NyQuil
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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