How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
