i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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