i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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