everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
