fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's blow job season.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize