and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
