haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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