I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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