3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize