I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My feet surprised me
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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