i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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