im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
