Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
