We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
