We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
