You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
