I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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