So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
