You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
