dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
