and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize