Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
ugly people sure do ruin things
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
